I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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