a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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