This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
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Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
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I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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