She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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