They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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