so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize