I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
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still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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