Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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