How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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