i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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