new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize