Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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