Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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