Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
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I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
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I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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