i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize