Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize