....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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