I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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