Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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