i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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