Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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