Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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