i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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