You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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