i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
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Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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