the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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