My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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