I hate your face
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
