how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize