you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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