He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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