So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
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Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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