she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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