I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize