Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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