if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
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Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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