It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
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Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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