Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize