The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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