sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize