don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Houston, we have a blender
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize