Your tits are I can't wait for
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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