Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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