I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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