Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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