Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize