see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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