At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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