it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize