had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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